Yeah, not a bad piece, hook was a bit of a let down 'illuminate my blind' just dosent work, try re-wording it a little. . concept was original actually, ive never seen it done before, flow was a little sketchy all the way through w/ the bar lengths keep changing, that sdtretched it in my opinion but the content was there, and it wasnt half-bad. It seemed to pick up a lot nearer the end of the piece and the repetion in the beginning of the sentences seemed to build up your emotion, not a bad piece my man, but just a little tip - drop the whole "Time For School" and stuff headers, they distract the reader from the piece a little.

All in all a decent drop though, made for a nice read in my opinion.
Reply to my piece: !