Should be ' One Drink To
o Many' - hahaha!
Opener was good, nice use of internal rhyming to sustain the flow, and strong imagery used, you seemed to fade off towards the middle in my opinion, this topics been done over and over and you tried to write it through the eyes of his partner / wife but at times it was off because you sacrificed content for flow, and at times you did vice-versa so the flow was off, but you built up the imagery - you need to try to get an even balance between the two. Ending left me kind of. . unsatisfied, you brang it to an abrupt end and that finished it too quickly, it could of done w/ more emotion about how the woman was feeling and such, more multi's and internals may of helped, but the imagery was your strongest aspect, just work on your flow and try to get an even balance betwen the two.
Not a bad piece, its just constructive critisism.
Reply to mine:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=72095