Nice piece my man, internal rhyming kept the flow smooth, but you seemed to sacrifice content for flow, and lot of the internals were basic rhyming, id of prefered them to be multi's because then it would of been dope.
Didnt seem to have any particular topic as i read it, just a lot of random thoughts penned down and put together with that 'silver lining' hook.
The emotion was there, but the imagery was vivid, nothing really 'stood out' to me as a quoteable line, but it wasnt a bad piece, i liked it and it made for an ok read. Props.
Reply to mine:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=72095