Though you approached the cliches with a certain amount of dexterity. I felt the at times bluntness, along with emotions that felt cold, made it hard to get into. Or hard to relate to the extent of which one would want to relate (minimum).

You seemed stuck between emotions and well thought out analysis. Not combining the two together well. And neither going with either side.

Still, i can see it bursting to get out. Just need to find that 'key'.

...resp...