This is definately a personal piece, which no one can critique. Shows no opinion, but only feeling. Hard to make suggestions on how another feels.

I read this, and the interpretation I got and the how it related to me probably the opposite of what intention you wrote it. It's a great piece (as I understood it). Keep venting, you vent nicely.

personal pieces like this, you don't know what exactly the author is getting across, it allows for the intrigue and mystery of deciphering your own meaning. that's why its art.

__________________
"life is a game, you have to choose a side to play
if i gotta pick a position, i'mma pick missionary."