Yeah. . Sureal, you wrote an ok verse, did what needed to be done with the topic - but the whole 'Love' thing has been done a million and one times over, and the the reason most try to stay away from this subject, is that you need to come up with something completly dope or a new twist to make it stand out at all, and as this stands, it didnt have either. Your verse had the emotion there, but some of the rhyming scheme was basic and lacked multi's here and there that would of made the flow better if worded in correctly. The piece held my attention, although, it was choppy throughout, thats the whole point ofg internals, to make sure the flow isnt choppy between bars. . Shizit came better than i expected at first, nice word choice and writers voice, again, she did good with the emotional aspects of the piece but lacked as far as internals and multi's that would of helped the piece a lot if they'd been added.

Sorry for pointing out the bad points, but it needs to be done in order for you to build o it, if i just said "This was dope" neither of you would know where you were going wrong or what you needed work on, i actually did like this piece and thought you did well with such a played topic, but you asked for critique so ehhhhh, dont bitch at me now!

Reply to my piece when you get time- its up there somewhere. .