I really do think those exclamation marks take the seriousness away (well a bit).

But apart from that, it was a very good piece. Slowly but surely getting to the point of death, and how people tease it. I especially thought about the slums, ghettos etc. with this piece. How people know it's there, but they take the pro's of what they doing over the negatives (death being the extreme).

It was a solid piece, made even better by the approach. Quite simple, but hard to pull off. You did it to good effect. It seemed very much like it was being said from amid it all.

..resp....