Change the ending syllables, because that affects your flow overall.. "-ing" ending words are the worst to go off on in text, at least, because it murders the whole essense of a "flow" or "rhyme scheme" for that matter. Your vocabulary needs to be improved a lot, as well as your multis, because your multis were quite simplistic and not at all caught my eye in this verse. Other than that, it was quite good, would've been better if your structued format was a little more clean cut, as well as the caplocks being off so the reader is able to see the words a bit better, then straining his/her eyes just try reading one word, feel me? Believe in yourself and that of your word, elevate.

Return The Favor..