Shiznit's Thoughts

VOCABULARY/WORDPLAY

>> The chosen words to the intro was very weak. It was like summing up everything more likely used at the end.
"cream" alright i know that this can be a real necessity but on the idea u wanted to get, it didnt quite fit.
Reverse some other parts depending on how the idea started but it was alright at some points. Props for well used terminology.


FLOW/RHYME SCHEME

>> i cant quite criticize the flow of the whole piece cuz i really think that it fitted well according to the pattern of levelness despite at some weak points but it was caught expertly by its unique repairment.
>> Revealing the idea of the scheme made it possible to speak it word by word.

CONTENT

>>Passionate emotions rolled the hay on this one. Sometimes certain feelings like this lead to obssession one way or another. The refractions on the other hand helped as you crossed your way towards what u wanted to express.

OVERALL

>>Real nice but as youve said. It was written way back so maybe it had some flaws here and there but the realization and true emotions were attached so that made it a quite brilliant piece.

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>