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Old 08-25-03, 03:44 PM   #2
shiznit
Tampons are expensive
 
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From: Somewhere uve never been born....
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Not a bad one but couldve been better. Try longer lines added a but of imagery and metas. THey would reveal the true meaning of your piece. It will enhance the weak parts of it.

"Age four, I grabbed a sword and started dismanteling"

I remembered this one scene at some movie where AShton Kutcher was dreaming about fighting with somebody using a lightsaber. Star-wars attack!

You could work it out. NOt a bad piece at all.
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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>
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