Shiznit's THoughts:
Not a bad one but couldve been better. Try longer lines added a but of imagery and metas. THey would reveal the true meaning of your piece. It will enhance the weak parts of it.
"Age four, I grabbed a sword and started dismanteling"
I remembered this one scene at some movie where AShton Kutcher was dreaming about fighting with somebody using a lightsaber. Star-wars attack!
You could work it out. NOt a bad piece at all.