It's...a down to earh peice with earthly veiws, but somehow dreamy, a sense of longing, and definitely a sense of emotion, but it's natural, not strecthed or false.......

I could feel it, but it wasn't overdone, sincere and poetic, the rhymin could be worked on...
It had wisdom too, but youthful wisdom, newly ofund ideas

It sounded amateurish, and that made it good, you weren't trying too hard, just telling it like it is And most of all, something i value in battles and poetry, you had heart in it....
Couldn't find enough wrong with it to complain about...

you won me over with this peice, potential wrapped in emotion and i look forward to more...