Sorry about not posting a long reply here, bit busy..

I thought the rhyming scheme here was pretty basic, you basically just had:
............... ............... .................. XXXXXX
........... .... ............... ................. XXXXXX

Where as you could've used some internals.

......... XXXXX ........ ............. XXXXX
XXXXX ........ XXXXX ........ ......... XXXXX

Would've helped the flow.

You had good vision though, looks like the content was well thought through, nicely played with the seperate sections. Had a good image of the topic as well.

The ending was good, having it based on real life always helps us relate to it..props...

Overall: 7/10