iight

vocab- need to up it some, get off the simple, im so plain words

structure- needs its work, but not that bad

emotion- sorta felt it sorta didnt, it was trying to shine thou but i could only just see it

but you did get your message across

i felt at times i needed more of the story like i was missin something, paint me more of a picture, give me more of a feeling of being there, seeing it with me eyes, feeling the pain, the love, hate, so forth

all and all it was pretty good just start workin on some of your basics iight LOVE

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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