Okay, was going to reply to it tomorrow. But as i peeped it, couldn't help but reply.

It's late, so bare with me.

A good use of vocab. Not too over baring and over done. Instead, just fitted well with the whole essence of the piece.

Each stanza (er, verse), right from the start was well executed. Constructed in a way which though seemed meticulous and precise, still had the feel of looseness to it. Bringing a certain amount of realism (or should that be surrealism....). You know, bringing more texture to the imagery.

The meaning i am finding hard to comprehend. As i said before, it's late (well it aint, as i'm quite nocturnal, but i'm trying to get to sleep and i'm tired!).

Well the basic meaning is there. Someone who goes by common logic and wisdom. Rather than the more enlightened and inidividual one. This 'girl' brings him down to earth. The age thing an example of people judging.

Also salting it with light irony (or satire, dunno which one applies here, mind is ticking ever slower) with such lines like how you use success as the sister, and therefore boys dreaming of her/it.

Mixing the innocent and quite simple perspective with fairly profound wisdom was well executed.

Er, last thing. Imagery was used well. Esepcially with the 'what stop you getting off' verse. Though also cleverly used in the 'Are You in a relationship' one.

I still think the meaning is a bit hazy. With these kind you usually give it two layers. If anymore, you use one as a focal point, another as the main 'deep' point. And the other layers imbedded for the person reading/hearing to find with time (or a very keen ear/eye...or a personal meaning...etc etc..).

But my mind aint working to full speed at the moment. So might've missed out the obvious. Maybe you can enlighten me? What the girl represents? I'll probably read it agian tomorrow anyway. Hours after i've woken up.

Very nice read. Eases you right into it

...resp...

EDIT: This'll probably be enough for the freeposters/vote wanters to derive from. Though i wrote it so it'd be harder to do so...oh well..