Okay, this was 'open mic' material. And when people move their open mic material to here it can clog up the forum. As it's the poetic scriptures. Though of course it's poetry. Still, we have these sections for a reason.

But the odd one here and there doesn't matter. Not to sound patronising, but don't make a habit of it please.

Onto the piece.

You came with a kind of 'street rawness'. Showing over-sight of the gritty type. But doing so in a way which had wise undertones.

Flow was on point, complementing the overall rhyme scene well.

It was a solid piece, which with the right delivery and what not, wouild sound good in audio.

Oh, but i did feel at times you over-elaborated. Over emphasising certain things with 'complexities'.

A nice enough read.

...resp....