Yeah, this was pretty good my man, definatly an improvement from the last piece of yours i read, flow is a lot stronger now, the internal rhyming helps a lot with that, you maintained it nicely, vocabulary worked well with this piece, infact - my only real flaw was its length, try to make an open mic piece at least 20 lines in length cause as a rough guideline, anything under 16 lines isnt enough to tell a good story / display a topic nicely.

Anyways, not a bad read my man, rounded it off nicely at the end, flows a lot better, maybe could add more multi's here and there where you've started placing internals, then you'll improve.

Props.

Reply To Mine: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...8232#post748232