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Old 09-02-03, 02:17 PM   #4
Split-eyez
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Posts: 381
From: up yo ass
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nice piece...
felt the emotions.
it kinda lacked on vocab
maybe you could have described the way she looked, or just the way you were feeling that day, or how the world looked like that day. Cuz it stayed kinda superficial on one hand... you could have gone way deeper with this. No hate intended.
Nice piece though, keep droppin, i'd give it a 7/10

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