iight

nice piece, does need some work, flow i found was kinda off when i read it outloud. and vocab needs to be upped

but the whole meaning of the piece made it that much better
it is a used topic but yours seemed to me a tad different, shone a new light

one part i liked about it was even thou she said things were okay that she'd been hurt before, you actually did pick up that what she said wasnt all true, maybe she wanted it to be the truth, but it wasnt, things changed.

try to paint me more of a picture thou next time, dig in deeper, use more emotion, pain, whatever your feeling to make ME feel it too. to stur up some emotions in me, by just reading this piece

my love

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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