Its because you dont leave good reply's to other peoples shit, why should they read yours if you wont read theres?

Anyways. .
the topics been done before, many a time, so it wasnt too original, the flow was kinda stop / start, it was decent in some parts but then you'd change rhyme scheme / structure and bar length and that would ruin the flow to it. You did have some internals and multi's, however, they were pretty basic, you need to get more than two syllable multi's in there, try to make each line roughly 13-16 syllables per line to get the flow down [packed, the content was actually pretty good, i preferred the second verse and the hook was decent.

All in all, the piece was felt, but the topic wasnt. I understand this was your first piece so thats why the multi's / internals / flow werent as good as they could of been. Sorry if i came across harshg in my reply, but im just tryna help you elevate, its constructive critisism, you wouldnt elevate if i came in here and hjust said "This was dope" - which is why i dont - dont take this as a hate reply, because i actually liked this, you showed potential, im just tryna help you in the long run. = )

Eace-Pay!

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