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Old 09-11-03, 10:31 PM   #14
Maven
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I guess you added more to your one bar? lol

well, this actually had some shit behind it. It seemed like you were angry at generalization thrown on your race, which isn't a very original topic, but it is universally felt. I think this would have been a more affective piece if you made it about rascism in general, and cut the gangster bullshit. But maybe that's your style, so I'm not one to judge.

You had some nice rhyming.
Your first bar was off the hook, because it fit so nicely with what you wrote afterwards.

Quote:
Never reppin the system, cannibalism and excercism,
Givin examples of how a black man also has wisdom,


not a great bar, but I thought it explained perfectly what your piece was about. Shows rebellion against the society that opresses, and showing that you're more than you look.

Overall, a pretty good piece.
Just try to lengthen it out and go a bit deeper.
Peace
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