ok, to be honest, the size prob puts people off, if you gonna write i would make it 16 bars, or a full 3 verse song but thats just what i think:

ok, personally, i felt it had good content, but the length of the lines was a lil over board, i mean:

R-U-L-E...Restricted Underground Lyrical Epic the kid who's words spoke the unexspected/
Pravoked by others but i finally over came my fears an let my thoughts on a mic be ejected/
Told i could never write something an have people say its hot but they had my mind misdirected

it seemed hard to flow, because its so long, unless you quick at spitting

the chrous was aight

openin the note book to go to heavon...
jotten words down wit a lil dope venom...
Make you a lil wurry if you ever read em...
Wut i say on a mic is not pretending...

but i preferred the first 2 lines over the first by far...

second verse was probably better, best line was:

Call me a snake cuz my venom from the pen who given even the devil a scare/
Free shooten a mind bullet known as bomb war on this pad i declare/

i liked that, the lines were shorter, so i felt it flowed better,

OVERALL, i gotta say it was an aight drop, good attempt at a song, but maybe if you concised it to just one verse, and dropped some lines out like:

Think i was i bee, proveken me wud get u stung forced lyrics but still sound hot as they come/
so when you open your mouth an try an diss me think bout who rappen like a loaded gun/


it would be better overall, but nice drop, keep it up.

and yo peep my new one "let loose"

PEACE