aight, again, i think more a topical and emotional spit was the intention, i mean i don't know if this is all whats goin on, but you sheddin emotion in to it,

i mean, ability in content, and the wordplay to stay on topic is fine, but i think the structure needs to be tightened up, for it to allow it to flow:

My foundations have collapsed, everything I once loved is now gone
Left torn between the girl I love and my dieing mom
Twisted emotions of love and hate, fear and braveness for what I must do next
Stand beside my mothers deathbed, and talk to her as she watches me through her mangled specks

this does not flow well, as the lines are very different in syallable count and word amount, this is prob what you need to work on,

the best section of the whole spit for me was:

I came home late that night, my father drunk as always
Grabbed my by my neck and slapped my sideways
'Where the fuck were you?' he asked with a grin
Pulled out a knife, where I saw my reflection
'Why are you doing this?' I asked with disguist
He said 'You killed your mother, and revenge is a must."

as it had the best structure and flow for me,

i actually really liked how you tried to tell a story, as storytelling and topical description is what i like best, its what i like to do, so i can appreciate it more,

you like told parts of the story and then an overview:

My foundations have collapsed, the one girl I ever felt in touch with
Murdered with an axe, for which her father kissed her severed head...

I came home late that night, my father drunk as always
Grabbed my by my neck and slapped my sideways....

that shows you got creativity,

i think you could have used more rhyming words, like included more multis, which should help it flow, but other then that it did what intended to do,

GOOD SPITTIN, KEEP DROPPIN,

thanks for the feed aswell....

PEACE