Hmmmmm, well I basically don't think the emotion you had for your ex was shown in this poem. You started off talking about life which isnt really about your ex. I think you could've used more expression in it, expanded on how close you and your ex were. I thought it was really thoughtless when I read it, just didn't really seem to make a point on how close you and your ex were. It was basically just like you said you loved her and then ended it, no other feelings were shown in this piece. Work on expressing your feelings more freely and don't hold them back, there isn't nothing to be afraid of. Use the emotion you showed more and expand on the thoughts and feelings you have.

Love.