that was aight for a first spit, you tried to make it flow and structure throughout, but i think that is the main thing you gotta work on e.g:

no beef cat just tryin ta get my point across...
but choosin not to battle me is a good way to avoid a loss//
my punches n flow leave ya achein, my spits foresaken like hell n satan, my battle career has been like a mountain - nuthin but elevation//

this was aight, but i think you could tighten it up if you get me, take a few words from the longer lines and add a few in the shorter, but it was still decent,

the content was aight, this was kinda funny, but a bit weak at the same time for some reason:

why yall gotta hate and discriminate just becuz im new..
its gonna remind me of ya daddies condom when im bustin you//

i mean the content also needs to be upped, but its good for a first spit or what ever:

so many wack cats who cant rap on such a big site...
its like nuttin in a small condom cuz i tend to spit tight//
fools wont battle me, they say i gotta earn a rep...
shit, its like NBA jam the way i slam ya n burn the net//

this was probably the most basic line, but you got potential and already showin ability, keep droppin


KEEP DROPPIN...."PEEP MY SPIT "LET LOOSE"....PEACE