^ He Means Dont 'CAPITALISE' all the rhym,ing words in your verse, we arent stupid my man, we can see where the rhymes are - lol. .

Okay. . as i read the piece, the first thing i noticed was all the ...'tion's - dont rhyme like that if at all possible, it does tend to get annoying and repetitive, try to switch it up after 2 lines, 4 at max with the same rhyming syllable id say. The flow to this was pretty decent, mainly due to your even-bar structure, props on that, keep that up if you can. Your vocabulary was pretty decent, kept it slightly complex without over-doing it - that shone in this actually, i felt this piece was pretty short to show us what you really can do, there isnt a lot here for me to criticise, but from what ive seen - you've got potential.

Keep it up my man!

Eace-Pay!

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