Thread: Family Tree
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Old 09-14-03, 04:13 PM   #7
G.Hod
AI
 
Posts: 2,827
IP:

Yet another good drop, but with the consistency of your pieces' accolades, I would have thought you would realize what I do - stories are too easy! I suggest that you take some stance(s) on some worldly issues and write about them; you have to get more creative, and will get more critique. I think stories are fun to write here and there, but, as evident from the first four replies to this piece, you can't get anything in the way of critique. .

As always, the flow was above average - but not up to the elite standards set by your previous drops. I specifically remember you advising me to keep my lines between twelve and sixteen syllables - the Camarac Flow®, $19.99 in this Made-for-RB Offer! You did say you had strewn the end together quickly, so I suppose that would be why your flow wasn't quite up to par towards the end.

The one thing that did intrigue me from the replies of your fan base was the specific line they thought stood out; another line in the piece was what captured my attention.

Quote:
Playing victim to Years of Abuse, the Tearfull Truth of this Scripture,
Is were the Picture Perfect Family, without the Perfect Family Picture

Maybe it's just me, but these lines struck me as being the standout-ish lines of the piece!
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