Lol. .

Topic was. . not there, this seemed to me like it was just wrote at randon with no real topic or direction or planning as to where you'd like to take this piece, it was basically what i like to call "Bragging Writes" because thats what it is - a bragging piece where you come with multi's and wordplay but to no set-subject. As stated before me, your structure could use work, the lines were all over the place, and that threw the flow for me, strong use of internals and multi's, but at times you over did it and went one multi' too far and such, you have to get an even balance between multi's and flow, without overdoing / underusing either.

All in all a decent piece for what it was, flow could use work, structure needs more practice, writers voice and word choice werent really shown in this piece, try writing to a topic where you need emotion / imagery - those pieces show your varying skills rather than stuff any helf-decent head can drop.

Elevation is the key, but your showing potential.

Eace-Pay!

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