The only truth spoken in most of the posts before was that you put alot of emotion in it.

The first stanza had no flow whatsoever. Flow is something that if you are making a song, has to be consistent trhoughout. Alot of times it felt choppy.

The story could've been better, you had some nice vocabulary here and there, but nothing too outstanding. It wasn't that great in my opinion, but it wasn't bad. You have to work on more basic things and try to Perfect those. To me, the story didn't have as much imagery as what others said. Work on ya shit. stay up.

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!