USE POETIC CONCEPT WAS INDEED A VER GOOD IDEA FOR THIS....I LIKE THAT AND EVEN HOW YOU IDENTIFY WITH IT IN YOUR 3RD LINE.

my Spoken Word is poetically structured Truth for the forsaken
who Plan To Make It in a Land Of Hatred at the Hands of Satan.

ALOT OF POWER IN THAT AND YOU CONTRASTED BEAUTY WITH DARKNESS....VERY IMPRSESSIVE FOR SUCH A SIMPLE CONTEXT.

Feeling Pressured, my Gifted Measures merely Scripted Leisure
to Sit and Treasure then reminise

I HAVE TO ASK DID YOU INTEND FOR LEISURE TO MATCH ANY OF THAT RHYMES SCHEME CAUSE IT DOESNT BUT5 THE FALLOWING USAGE WHEN YOU TOOK TO KIDS SAVED IT.

subsided views . . know i'll Hang with Envy, but only By a Noose
Primed to Shoot for the Stars, but were Missing & Hitting Mars
Then being Caught Up in the Emotional Storm we now Disgard.

COULD BE FIXED TO BE BETTER THE MARS LINE WAS BEAUTIFUL
BUT THE EMOTIONOL STORM AND DISGARD SEAMS FORCED LIKE IT REALLY SHARED LIL TO NO RELAVENTSY.

Emotional Scars forme Patterns Etched in Mother Natures Face
Others cater grace, moving w/ a change of pace, covers laced.
we play the game steadily, step heavily, tread water with ease
Drop cents, quaters released, hold Aourglass figures of speech.
Liquorice twists the black thoughts my mental holds & contains
folks with no name, just distorted dialect from a comic book page

IF YOU HAD WRITTEN THIS WITH NOTHING ELSE IT WOULD STILL BE A MASTERPEACE.YOU TRULY CAPTIVATED ME IN THESE LINES.

So BaSiCly iT's A gAMe,
We PLaYeD bAcK iN gRaDe SiX. .
At FiFtEEn i StAyEd BaCk AnD gAzEd aT tHe ScRiPts. .

PLAYED WELL IN THE FALLOWING LINES

iT's LiKe sKiEs aND gRaSS . .
aPPLeS aND oRaNgES
bATTLeS sO mORBiD,
LiFeLiNeS wOn`T cATcH.
yOUR dRiFT dOeSn`T mAKE sEnSE,
wiTH nO cHeESe yET
LaCk oF gReEn giVeS mE tHe bLuEs,
wHeN i bLeED rED.
cAUgHT iN viNeS oF sUcCeSS,
bUT sTiLL tRYiN` tO wiN
LyiN' tO KiDs cLaiMiN',
i'M faMoUS . . siLeNT iN sCRiPTs. .

VERY ARTISTIC OF YOU GRAPHIC AND BEAUTIFUL AT THE SAME TIME WITH A MESSAGE OF STREET LIKE a ROSE GROWING FROM CONCRETE.

OVER ALL HAD MINOR FLAWS BUT NOT IN ANY WAY A DISSAPOINTMENT VERY WELL COMPOSED AND A BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART.