Very, very impressive piece. The structure tended to be more enjoyable to read during the middle and latter parts of the piece, as its complexity seemingly maximized. I'm usually not moven enough by stories to respond, however, this was one of another breed. . I'd be interested to know what the topic was in the supposed match-up you had to write this for.
Quote:
"erase drugs sold and substance addiction"/
"erase love stole and become him a Christian"/
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Although it wasn't a particularly moving line, it was worded perfectly - speaking of which, come back to WP!
Quote:
I sat with barracaded thoughts awaiting my Jimba/
disecting the words of his perplexing enigma/
tired of resting cause its a hell-hole in this jail/
plus i've been wrestling with the riddle told by the well/
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An example of the wit you displayed in this piece. Coupled with the advanced, yet, not-quite-incessant vocabulary, I can't believe you didn't get any more feedback.
Post some more. I think I remember you saying you could only get on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but when you read this, drop your SoundClick page for me. .
Good Job.