granted your 14 and trying something for the 1st time

this was good, rather simple but none the less good
flow was easy to find and reading was easy.. the bar lenght was all of... try to keep the lines around same length on he screen its an easy way to stay around the same syllabul count

check mine out if u have a sec... i need feedback 2
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80134