the hook was simple but to the point

the verse was rather short, also simple... try not to repeat mind 2 times... the flow was easy to find but the rest just lacked... little vocab, the idea is not a new one so you have to make your different from everyone elses...

i would like to see the final piece

if you dont mind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80134
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80529