iight

i liked this

it was short but nice, and different, i liked the whole sences thing

it had a nice flow, but some places i felt it kinda fell apart but the only place i noticed it the most was the last line it just feels better if you add another beat in there like

ex:
You use your fingers to touch
But your heart to feel....

change to...
you use your fingers to touch
but WITH your heart to feel....

dunno to me that little word makes it flow better

re read things, and fool around with a piece till you find your best sounding piece, keep writing

~Tera~
DONT HATE

__________________