***********************THE FEEDBACK***********************

Basic Comment- These verses are nice.. A good use of vocabulary and your wordplay is novice division. Well Done.. I liked reading this peice.

Wordplay: (7/10)

Your Wordplay like I said previously was novice. You have a nice selection of words to play around with. I especially liked these lines-

When I’m lying in a coffin, me want a big blunt lit in my lips
And every one at the funeral to be laughing and getting completely blitzed
But for now ignore the narrow minded, there blinded with contemptment
Just cos we’ve got bigger balls - there full of anger and resentment

~~Those were the highlights in my opinion~~

Metaphors: (5/10)

A fair mark, Metaphors were slimly shown, but I didn't really see you coming out with alot of solid metaphors. Though you did have some, Im not saying you didn't have any.

Vocabulary: (8/10)

A high mark, you used pure knowledge, though sometimes, when I was reading your verse, I knew you didn't know what you were talking about. You need to work on understanding them and wording them together. I'm sure you know alot, but just work on this.

Creativity: (15/20)

A really good mark, I liked the verse from the titles to the ending, this was great creativity on your part. Nice Work.

Rhyme Scheme: (12/25)

You didn't really have a consistant Ryhme Scheme, sometimes you had 3 ryhmes, interconnecting with a 2 line ryhme scheme. You should do the ryhme scheme like this.

....................A
....................A
....................B
....................B

Anyways, thats it for the Basic Feedback, Peace.