I think this verse was pretty sick, You used aspects of your life, thats what I like to see in verses. Well the vocabulary was broadly used and the Multis were pretty Ill. You had everything in there, but I would still say It need some Working on.

But overall, this verse was a good post, I'd like to see some more of this out of you. You have true Talent.

I realized my life is goin down the wrong path/
entered my car to see my other half, the only other person who matteed do the math/
i entered th studio to visit the rest of my crew/
it consisted of me and jeremy who needs a few, grabbed the mic andexited my life/
so yea i recorded hits but my life was only half filled/
my life was dirty water needed to be distilled, i had enemies but i never wanted to get killed/

Those are the Lines I liked out of this verse.