..A New Breed of Femcee..
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IP:
Really nice job, both of you. Two different but great translations of the topic...
Madd~
I loved your verse, the concept was brilliant and extremely creative..You executed it well, nice dialogue and vocab, great imagery, deep thought provoking statements, really just all around well done. Heaven's parts seemed so full of knowledge, which was appropriate, while earth's kind of resembled what an ignorant man might say, which was also appropriate..Like i said, I really liked the whole heaven/earth thing, and I also think it could be left open to symbolism, the people and god, ect. The ending bit was also a nice, a good finishing touch on everything just read, and the preceding . . . .'s had a nice effect before revealing "heaven" at the bottom....Kind of showed the interdependence (or intertwining) of earth and heaven..as opposed to the contradictory of them seen in the dialogue......It all just left me feeling like I really took something from the piece. Great job.
Shiznit~
You did a nice job, also..It was nice to see a relationship portrayed between a grandfather and grandson instead of the typical guy/girl that first comes to mind when you think of "intertwined souls". Anyway, you had great imagery, and the piece had a great poetic essence to it, right in the first lines even. The poem had a great message in it. I think it was a hard concept to pull off in only 20 lines, cuz it could have used a little more background or such about the boy or the grandfather, but the way you constructed it seem to work well for the piece as a whole. Nice verse, great imagery, good message...........
However....Shiznit's verse was more literal, a story telling type, which was great, a deep story at that, But i really liked the way Madd's verse was just more open to contemplation..it hit me a little harder and i liked the way he incorporated the topic a little more subtly rather than literally the way Shiznit did. Madd's verse just seemed to more creatively and effectively jusitfy the concept, while Shiznit dropped a nice verse, the elements of Madd's verse make him the winner of this battle, in my opinion.
Nice job by both, tho.
VOTE: MADD PREACHER
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