Thread: Acceptance
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Old 09-22-03, 04:08 AM   #6
Baron Mynd
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Okay. .

First things first, try to stay away from all 'tion' and 'ing' rhyming words, their the most basic of all to rhyme with, and that takes away from its complexity. This flowed pretty decent as i read it, it was short and to the point, but it was too short to really develop into a great piece, i agree about this seeming more poetry-esque, but the topic was pretty original, you had a few good ideas, just try extending your pieces to around 20 lines and each of your lines to approx. 12-16 syllables per line for near-perfect flow.

The potentials there, you just need to work on it.
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