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Old 09-22-03, 05:06 PM   #14
Otherwordz
Banned: Compromised Account
 
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Posts: 865
From: Crown Heights, Crooklyn,11203
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bruklor

King of Theivez-
am I dead or just high...I can't really decide...
feelin' deprived of nutrition while my inner entity fliez...
doez my girl really love me or is she after my cash...
am I really the only nigga that gets to be tappin' that ass...



sometimez I wonder if in this world if there could be more answerz than questionz...

- The use of “if” made this line seem odd. Just the wording of it, the second “if” doesn’t really need to be there.


that's why I can slit my veinz and drink my ice when it's cold...

- I didn’t get this really. Cold hearted? The word “ice” brings the illusion of ‘solid’, so I wasn’t to sure really what you meant.

at night I say my prayerz to see if God answerz any of the questionz that I have rightfully asked...

- This line almost doesn’t fit in, you didn’t give any foreshadowing towards it really. I mean, you didn’t really show you had a right to ask the questions…because since you haven’t got the answers, it seems you don’t have the right, cuz you haven’t been answered.


I alwayz thought that really decide and feelin' deprived rhymed...I guess it's cause I got a Brooklyn accent...

the 1st "if" wasn't supposed to be in there but my mouse fucks up on my sometimez so I end up typin' shit twice...

the drinkin' the ice from my veinz line means that I'm cold-blooded...

and you have a right to ask God any questionz when you pray...and if I have got the answerz then what'z the purpose of asking the question??????
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