On the technical side, these peice would have been better if it didn't rhyme. And the line "Good bye cruel world with me you can do with out " I think would've worked well as "Good bye cruel world you can do without me"

But that's just my imaginings.

But aside from that, this was a very depressive, dark, self-loathing, seemingly suicidal peice that people like me have come to know and love. They're common, yes, but everyone comes with their own special touch. And you came with your own too. It's good, and if anything, if you kept writing perhaps that would let the pain end. Just a thought.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.