Ok, just wondering about something here. You speak about constructive criticism and those famous one line replies here...




Then right here you give...a famous one line reply. The rest of your post wasn't even about the poem. If the one line replies are going to stop, shouldn't the mods be leading the way?

Don't edit my post just cause you may not like it, Content. I don't mean any disrespect here.
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Now onto this poem. Hopefully, Chase gets to see the response before Content edits my post. I'm sure it's coming.

Your style is a little different than the others I've read on here. This one seemed more desperate and dark. A really emotional writing with good imagery that helps the reader feel what you're saying.

Please from this horrid night mare may I awaken
When will I, because I’ve been pinching and shaken
Trimble and turn Twist and scream
Night terrors although this is not a dream

Those lines were good. Trying to wake yourself up from something so horrible it has to be a dream but isn't. Nicely written.

Strength is over rated I want this to end

That single line stood out to me the most in this. You put up with something for a long enough time and you're not gonna care about being strong. You just want it to be over with. I guess I felt it cause of what I've been going through lately.

Good bye cruel world with me you can do with out
I no loner, want to be a pawn in this game
No longer will I try, for it to be only in vein
Rain Falls on my head all ready so put me in a hole
Let me rot next to the rat scrubs and moles
Let the worms eat my body hands and hair
I don't want to live because no body cares
I hate me life so let it end
Let it end
Let it end
And it shall end………………………………………†¦

A really good ending to your writing. Shows how desperate things are and gets pretty descriptive with the worms and all.

I can't give you any tips cause you're, by far, a better writer than me so I'll end this long ass reply with Good Job.