hand on over her mouth, She bites his pinky.. just
barely breakin' the skin, He bangs her head
hard against the dirty cigarette ridden
pavement..

i I felt this piece was good

BUT I also felt you forst too much description into it…like the CIGARETTE ridden pavement line… your piece would be more thinker friendly if some details were left out or shortened … your piece had great concept and was EXCELLENT on the storytelling tip…I feel if you lessened your descriptive words your piece wouldn’t be as cloudy and would be OUTSTANDING