fuck it i felt bad.. you did give me a good feedback
here we go

the 1st verse was canabis-esque as in it had tons of big words and about 1/4 i didnt know so i was lost on a few lines..

hook (chorus)

Teen ragers with the heart of team rapers and a
rebel cause of fiend capers with mean papers

i like lyrical tounge twsiter.. hook was good but once again few words i didnt understand

2nd verse

With the motive of a 10 corrupted philosifers, with a pinch of gosspiers

loved it^^... less big words= more understanding of what you were saying... i liked this one more.. i can understand it

3rd

So the bullet exits gets deflected and when it's reflected from the
next kid the barrel flips to grip you and and pierces your skin fragments unexpected

personally i wouldnt use defelected-reflected in the line like that... they seem to say the same thing and it makes the line look forced and weak

Hope i made your standards

if you would be so kind(chose a random one)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80134
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80529
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616