First poem here....a lil rusty.
opener was weak...lol kidding


We're already cattled headed to a slaughter,
Why bother, i wont live devoting to one "father",
its pathetic, im poetic, and express feelings thru letters.

I didnt get the exact point of this one, need further explanation... but good rhyming

Poor inoccents torn thru in the middle of a sentence,
death isnt surposed to be thought of as brillance,
mah life's thread is like quills on the feathers.

hmm, im stupid cause i still dont know what your saying.. the rhyming is still good

Life spent wasting on crying instead of standing,
life spent told whut to do, instead of demanding,
Blood feels like oil, due to being treated like a machine.

i like this part.. and i get the point of it 2... rhyming was ok on this one

This is the human race, how do we all feel,
sometimes unreal, sometimes like overkill,
sometimes we beat round a bush, call another a fiend.

nice descriptions used, but the rhyming lacked here... content up rhyme down

All in all we live to die, and waste alot, then cry,
Why spend lives on another, not life, why?
we're all branded and all lost.

nice ender

The flow was off at times but the vocab use was good
good drop and let me know when the rust is off

Its That Simple