^^^word, u probably need to elevate some on wordplay and vocab as well, ima say try and some multis in ur verse as well, but yea i agree wit wooshy, u need to work on flow, and organize ur thoughts, then put down on paper in a way that people can understand, u got potential, so just work on them things, and keep postin and elevatin and youll get better.

yo, can u check out my latest post....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558
thanx

peace.....