yea i agree wit everyone else, that was hella long, but anywho, it had ok wordplay and vocab, ima agree wit c section and say to include a few more inner rhymes, but the flow fell off a little durin it, but it was still fine, ima say add a few more multis in ur verse as well, u do show potential so keep at it holmes, keep postin and elevatin and ull get better..

yo if u have time can u hit up my post?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558
thanx

peace.....