it was aight.....the structure was probably the best thing, could be tighter tho...it was good here:

"he had gone to far, he stepped over the line/
why couldnt we make peace thats what i was tryin/
i had never wanted to go where caps were flyin/

then throughout, some bars/lines were too big, and did nt carry the continuation of the first apparent structure

it flowed good in places, then aight in others e.g:

After spendin months in that fuckin peice of shit cell/
it was finally his chance to bail from that horrible jail/

flow could have been better, like using 2 syallable word to replace horrible....the actual structure could also help it

the rhyme structure was not very consistent....you had lines like this:

but he fucked up when he blackmailed this homeboy/
i couldnt let him toss me around like some worthless toy/
cause fuckin wit me aint smart, i aint no Pillsberry dough boy

then lines like this:

i heard the police say he died, and the motive was lackin, there was no cause/
only then did i look up from the floor and see the blood splattered on the walls/
i tryed to explain that i only meant for one to go to the head/

especially when the vocab and content is not advanced, or the flow/structure is not completley solid, you should try maintaining a consistent one throughout....then its easier to show yourself it does nt flow aswell,

although the flow was good enough....you got room for improvement on that....workin on the structures would defo help this.

hook was good:

i never wouldve thought that one mistake/
would end up havin me exposed as fake/
i didnt wanna piss him off, for Pete's sake/
but for revenge, my life is what he decided to take/

but your wordplay is kinda basic, use a more varied rhyming section, more like this:

he was sentenced to life in prison, wit no chance of probation/
thats what happens when u try and be a criminal sensation/
if i was there i wouldve shook his hand and said congratulations/
but yet he continued to get on his knees and beg for mercy/
but he had left me so i couldnt even tell my side of the story/

instead of the high numbers of simple rhyme words like:

i tryed to explain that i only meant for one to go to the head/
i didnt mean the rest, i just wanted to make sure he was dead"/

AND:

"i walked in that peice of worthless shit he called a home/
i just wanted to find him, fuck goin around lookin to roam/
i saw him at his couch watchin tv, so i sent caps toward his dome/
the cops ran up and relentlessly tackled me to the ground/
as i looked at that fucker i knew he wouldnt make another sound/
but to everyones surprise he head moved as he looked around/

I KNOW YOU WAS TELLIN A STORY....but i think more complexity would have made it seem much better, with more metaphors and similies in the verses,

there were nt too many multis, especially for a man who questions my verse on multis, i was suprised to see hardly any within the lines,

ALSO...you say FUCK etc too many times....that shows a weak vocab range...try and replace it with other words...


OVERALL it was AIGHT...almost solid....lots of work to improve on tho....good droppin....the more you do the more you will improve