^^^word, i wasnt feelin the rhyme scheme at all, try and make ur structure a little more complex next time as well. ima say elevate on ur wordplay, vocab, and try includin some multis in ur verse as well, but i agree wit fgee that didnt make for a good read/rap, but just keep droppin and elevatin and ull get better, u could have potential, but that was to simple of a post to tell, so good luck.

peace.....