aight holmes, for a newb this wasnt bad at all, ur flow was ok, it fell off a little in my opinion, ima say try and elevate ur structure a little more, it seems pretty simple, ima also say to try and fit some multis in ur verse, and i wasnt really feelin the topic, so my main suggestions are to make ur structure more complex and fit in some internal rhymes, and to find a little better topic to rhyme about. overall, for a newb that was pretty good, keep droppin and elevatin, ill be lookin for ya.

peace......