the scripture as a whole is decent.. but you need to work on
how you piece it together... for instance


"U cant buy, people thinkin its possible but dont give it even a try,
because trust goes togeghter with love, from the day that u been born and the day that u die."


when you write a paraphrase you cant make one sentence longer than the other because then when you say it out it comes out uneven

also try to use spellcheck because its hard to decypher
it when we cant really tell what word you want to use...



"guide u tru the obstacles, u face in live."


* is tru supposed to be through?
and you cant "face in live".... before you submit you should
just read it over carefully and pick out small parts like that
and try to find a better word....

i have been writing for 9 years and your own style comes to you
from having others help you get there...

over all good piece and keep writing


One

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