first let me begin by saying very few people DESERVE to be on.......you are one of those people.......

I loved to just scribble and let my mind snap-free
For Very few things in my life made me happy..
And when all the stress came on to entrap me..
The pen on the paper was what let the strap free.

^an intro is the most important part of any poem/song/artistic piece.....basically its what is supposed to snare the reader in and make them listen/read on.........you pretty much wrote the perfect example of an opener.......grabbed my eye but didn't spoil the rest by being TOO good just nice enough to leave me hungry for more

Caught in a thought, completely distraught-were,
the only things keeping my head above water..

i seperated this from the pack because it was awe inspiring.......nothing to critique it was just that damn good.


For everything I treasure, everything you take for granted,
all the sweet nothings, never mentioned, never chanted.

hella lotta FEELING in this right here.......kinda builds up for what comes later.........i like the way you are talking giving the reader an insight into what your heart is saying......


For every time I don't want to, every time I do anyway,
every time I reach out, every time you push my hand away.
For every time I was faithful, every time you still suspected.
Every time I cried, left alone, left neglected.

sadly i've been on both sides of this.......and if it helps hindsight really is twenty twenty and most of the time you don't realize what you have until its gone......i can't explain why us males act the way we do anymore then you could explain why females are the way they are.........deeeep ass emotion and please don't cry anymore.....



every time you crossed the line, and every time I took you back.
All the instances of love that need the qualities we lack.
Every insult struck a nerve, every grin and bitter word,
Every thing that I’ve put up with, everything I don’t deserve.

i love the subtle switch from sadness to anger.......just a tiny hint of bitterness........don't fret hun.......i think this potrays your emergence from the fog this person has blinded you in for so long......the strength behind your words is comforting.....


ealize now, though it took a lot of trying..
I’m ready to move on..I’m ready to stop crying.

good for you bravo and all of that..........nice way to end the piece gave an enormous amount of relief to the reader

on a personal note i've been here and other places........i like the way you expressed something that was obviously tender and emotional in such a wonderful manner........a teacher once told me that the sign of a true writer is having your words shine through when you are writing about a deep and personal pain......you do that quite often and with a great amount of skill.....keep blessing us

respect....